Is there something wrong with me? Or do other people feel like this too? What can I do?

Thoughts of suicide can be frightening, confusing and isolating. Suicidal thoughts can occur to anyone at any point in their life. They are more common than you may realize. When life doesn’t seem worth living anymore, it may seem that the only way to find relief is through suicide. When you’re feeling this way, it may be hard to believe, but you do have other options. Take a step back and separate your emotions from your actions for the moment.

Recognize that depression and hopelessness can distort your perceptions and reduce your ability to make good decisions.
Realize that suicidal feelings are the result of treatable problems.
Act as if there are other options instead of suicide, even if you may not see them right now. It may not be easy, and you might not feel better overnight. Eventually, though, the sense of hopelessness — and thoughts of suicide — will lift.
We understand what it’s like to have thoughts about suicide. Sometimes when we’re feeling overwhelmed, our thoughts and feelings can spiral out of control. Grounding techniques that bring our thoughts and attention back to the present moment can help short-circuit unhelpful or distressing thoughts.
We have found an effective grounding technique the ‘5 senses’, which uses our 5 senses to focus our attention away from our anxiety, and back to the present.

Please give this a go and really feel and follow this. Try to notice and put a name to:

* Five things you can see
* Four things you can feel
* Three things you can hear
* Two things you can smell
* One thing you can taste

To connect with the present moment, you might prefer trying these other grounding techniques:

Doing some exercise, maybe go for a walk and appreciate nature
Meditation, or listening to calming music
Cook yourself a meal
Taking a long hot or cold shower.

Anxiety can at times be really overwhelming.

Here is a breathing technique that is easy to follow and has proven to be really helpful to balance the anxious feelings that well up in us from time to time.

Self harm can, in some cases become an addictive behaviour. In times, if, or when you feel the need to harm yourself you can work on something less damaging. One of the best methods that seems to help lots of people is to work on a different method of self harm.

If you can find a rubber band, place this around your wrist, then if you feel the need to harm yourself, flick the rubber band.

This can often be really helpful!

Loneliness is one of the biggest factors affecting people all around the planet right now. Loneliness can often start as what seems like a very small issue, though if left unattended loneliness can lead to depression which in turn can lead some people to suicidal thoughts. It’s important that we deal with loneliness as early as possible.

Below is a great website that explains all about loneliness and what to do to help yourself deal with loneliness.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/unlock-loneliness/15-things-do-if-youre-feeling-lonely

Turn off all communication devices and all social media. If needed try listening to mellow music, classical or jazz music can help, or even binaural beats played lightly in the background can help with focus too. The main point is no distractions. Take a break every few hours to stretch, drink some water and then back to focusing on the subject.

If you enjoy reading check out Johann Hari’s great book called Stolen Focus.

If you’re not much of a reader or struggle to focus on reading right now, check out this talk with Johann Hari and Stephen Fry.

One way to really help boost your focus on studying is to turn off your phone and not do any social media. Mobile phones are really distracting and if we turn them off our focus goes on the subject at hand. It may take a little while to get used to change the habit of being online, though it’s really helpful and will be great for your focus.
Many of the callers we have shared with this with have literally changed their focus overnight by doing this very simple new behaviour.

Overthinking is one of the most debilitating issues we can have. The thing is, millions of people are struggling with this overthinking mind. It’s only when we learn to understand that we are not the thoughts, we are simply the awareness of the thought that we can create a new change in the way we think.

One of the best resources to help learn more about the why we think how we think is Michael Singer’s book The Untethered Soul.

This book was gifted to Oprah Winfrey, she found it to be such a game changer that she bought hundreds of copies and started to give it out to her friends. Now Michael Singer is one of Oprah’s Winfrey’s biggest mentors in life.

If reading is not your thing, there are lots of great video’s with Michael Singer sharing his wisdom. In the video link below you can hear Oprah Winfrey interviewing Michael about the book.

DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF LOVED ONES
Here’s a little something to think about and contemplate if you’re still grieving over a loved one or loved ones.
Have you ever thought about what your loved ones would have wanted for you after they passed over?
Do you think a loved who passed away would want you to be upset right now, or, perhaps do you think they might want you to continue on with your own life?
Or
One question we can ask ourselves when someone really close to us passes over is; what would they want from or for us?

Would they want us to be sad and upset, or, would they want us to be happy knowing that you knew each other and that you could cherish the good memories?

This might sound odd to think about when we are going through our own struggles and challenges, though could it be that your parents are going through a tough time at the moment?

Could it be that your parent/s could be going through any challenges in life right now?

Often what people do, parents included, without even knowing it, is to project their issues onto their children. One way to help ourselves get through times of struggle is to have empathy and compassion for others. While we here at LISA are not promoting any religious bias we do see great wisdom in many of the teachings, such a phrase like “”forgive them for they know what they do”” can be often be helpful when dealing with people projecting their own personal challenges onto others.

Child abuse is rarely about you. Its rarely about you being a bad child. Could your parents be going through a very tough emotional time in their lives? Could your parents be projecting their pain and suffering you?

Often parents have expectations and hold on to these expectations and forget to think about the harm they might be doing to their loved ones. Again, as we mentioned above, one of the most powerful statements we can learn from is “”forgive them for they know not what they do””. While this is a statement from a religious teaching, it’s important not to view it from a particular religion, rather view the statement as a mantra to live by. Even for those who have no religious beliefs or different beliefs this still holds strong as a great truth to live by.

It’s all too east to put ourselves down and feel like we are the worst human being. We here at LISA know that you’re not, we know this because you care more than others than this is why you are here researching, reading about ways to help yourself. You do this, because you care about yourself enough to do so.

We here at LISA care about you too.

If you can direct your attention outside yourself. Observe the light in the room, pay attention to whatever is on your desk, catch that smell of coffee percolating in the kitchen, notice the wood grain on the table, or listen to the distant sounds of cars in the street. Don’t let anything go unobserved. Notice every tiny detail around you. This is what you used to do as a newborn child. Just observe.
Alternatively, you can borrow from meditation techniques and turn your attention within. Pay close attention to your body. Tune in to any sore muscles from yesterday’s workout or back pain from sitting at your desk too long. Observe your breathing or feel the blood pumping through your body.

Here’s the great actor and gentleman Denzel Washington giving a most inspiring speech on his own personal failures and how failure is inevitable and how great successes come through failures.

Is happiness really the right thing to be seeking in life?

In this short video talk Matthew McConaughey does a great job of sharing Why You’re Not Happy and why seeking happiness may not be the best way to go.

If you are ready to do some work to help yourself we here at LISA would be happy to arrange an online meeting for you. One of our support buddies can work with you to offer you some suggestions of ways to move forward.

Apply here for a one on one talk with one our Support Buddies: www.lisahelpline.org/support/

Here’s a very powerful speech by Jeremy Anderson which is a fantastic analogy to human value!

Here are some very helpful videos designed to help you understand much more how to deal with loved ones going through mental health issues. Please watch and take part in this simple training session.

Check out the 5-10 minute Suicide Awareness Gateway Training

Check out this 15-20 minute version Suicide Awareness Gateway Training

All you can do is be there for them without judgement. It’s often difficult when we see our friends talking about suicide.

How about sharing something like this with your friend.

“I heard about a hotline that help with people in challenging and even stressful situations, how would you feel about contacting them?

Self harm can, in some cases become an addictive behaviour. If you suspect a a loved one is harming themselves if the person is ok to talk about it, you can offer them to work on something less damaging.

One of the best methods that seems to help lots of people is to work on a different method when they feel the need to harm themselves is to have a rubber band around the wrist, then if there’s ever the feeling or need for self harm, flick the rubber band.

This can often be really helpful!

DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF LOVED ONES

HIGH RISK WARNING SIGNS

A person may be at high risk of attempting suicide if they:

. are talking about harming themselves or taking their own life
. if they talk or write about death, dying or suicide
. are actively seeking ways to take their own life, such as storing lots of medication

If someone you know shows any of these high risk warning signs, invite them to visit this RESOURCES page, perhaps they will find something useful here.

There is a lot of stigma for people struggling with mental health issues so it can be really helpful to mention that it’s totally ok to visit a mental health expert, be it doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, for therapists and counsellors, it’s always best to seek those who may specialist in such matters.

It is always best to respond with empathy.